Proof that Dr. Dre is a miracle worker: he’s brought Tupac back to life as a hologram to perform for an amazed Coachella crowd. Tupac joined the good Doctor, along with Snoop, Eminem, 50 Cent, Warren G, and Wiz Khalifa to perform a set that sounds like a joke report from The Onion. The very idea of anyone, let alone Tupac (who we all have gotten kind of used to seeing come back to life in some way or another) return as a hologram is crazy, but not crazy-impossible… no way, it’s crazy-real! A few years ago, a hologram-Elvis performed alongside Celine Dion for American Idol. CNN’s Jessica Yellin had her hologram beamed into their studio. This is just going to start happening, because we totally have the technology now, you guys. We did it. High fives all around, we’re in the future! We have nearly all of the things only dreamed of in the fictions of past generations. Go watch 2001: A Space Odyssey and count everything from that film that’s been made a reality today (it’s a big number).
So with all of our powerful technology, and our steady progress towards beating death entirely, what’s next? I predict Dr. Dre rebuilds Tupac Shakur as a cyborg. Trust me, it’s well within his abilities. He’s a doctor, after all. He’ll make him stronger and faster, and he’ll probably even be built to literally spit fire. But surely not before Diddy resurrects Notorious B.I.G. using sewn together organs and body-parts that have been electrified back to life. And when it goes rogue and starts killing innocent people (because Diddy will be a fool and try to “keep it real”, and put a vest on the chest of the Biggie Monster and two 22′s in it’s shoes), Diddy will summon the Dream Team to help him subdue the beast. But when all but Diddy are slaughtered at their first encounter with the monster, Diddy will have to retreat and make a task force to hunt and capture his creation. To find the best people for his his Biggie Hunters squad, he’ll do a reality TV show for MTV. That’s our future, guys and girls. There’s no escaping it.